Fear...absolute mind numbing fear. I can't believe I forgot what that was really like. The feeling that you've stepped off a cliff ... and there's just no bottom in sight.

I got a phone call last night that reminded me what true fear is all about. One of my teammates that has walked with me all four years as a proud 20+ year survivor just discovered a tumor near her shoulder. Fortunately the doctors are optimistic that it is benign but when I got that call it suddenly came rushing back at me how frightening it is to "wait to see." Unless you've been there I just can't tell you how impossible it is to ask someone to wait for lab results or for a diagnosis when it appears that their very life is at stake. Not knowing is actually worse than finding out as far as I'm concerned.

I'm sure that this teammate will be fine. She's in good hands and all signs are pointing the right direction but her phone call was just another reminder as to why I do this....

....so that some day there is no more "wait to see."