Mother's Day is tomorrow. I keep going between wanting to ignore it completely or not. I've read a ton of stuff about the "first" Mother's Day after the death of a child and none of it sounds fun. It's another first and another holiday and I'm finding that I'm learning to hate both. I find myself saying "Just for this moment it's okay for me to _________" alot this weekend depending on where my mood is.

Tomorrow I have Jakob most of the day and have several friends coming over for dinner and the Survivor finale. Jason has spent more time here the last couple days too which helps. I'll get through tomorrow - hopefully with a minimum of bad moments. Think good thoughts for me.