This sucks. I'm supposed to mark birthdays, graduations, weddings, anniversaries - not six months without my son. How is it even possible that six months has passed? I go out to the accident scene - I tidy it, I decorate it, I leave flowers - but how is it possible? I cry over the new lower speed limit, wondering if it might have made a difference, but how is it possible? I smile, I laugh, I say the right things to the right people - how is it possible they don't hear me screaming? The sun shines, the flowers grow, life goes on (how I hate that saying) but how is it possible? How can the world not know that an incredible wonderful loving kid is not among us? How can people go on with their petty issues and not know that something incredible is gone? How is it possible that I have managed to eat, sleep and wake up for six long horrific months without Sean? How is it possible that he will never call me, never hug me, never annoy me the way only he could - ever again? What part of this is okay? How the hell am I supposed to make this okay?

Sean - I miss you with every single bit of my being. I love you even more. I hate that I can't pick up the phone and check on you. I despise the fact that I have to look for "signs" that you aren't too far away. I want you home. Now. I love you and I miss you. Visit if you can. Please.