I'm learning to smile. I'm learning to smile instead of sob when someone reminds me how much you and I look alike. I'm learning to not avoid my own reflection in the mirror because I'm afraid that looking at my own eyes will remind me too much of looking into yours. I'm learning and I'm trying so hard to learn this lesson gracefully. I'm learning to find the joy in knowing that because you are a part of me you are never too far away. On the other hand I'm afraid of the distance I sometimes feel between us. I miss seeing the eagles you sent to me so often. I look but they just don't seem to be there as often. I sense you close but not right over my left shoulder like I did for so long. I guess it boils down to what you already know. I miss you Sean. I love you and I hate that you are not just a phone call away. I just miss you. Visit me if you can. Stay close if it's right for you. I love you kiddo. So much.