04/28/2008

Unfortunately there are people on this earth that can be unbelievably cruel. I'm going to hold onto the hope that the person I'm thinking of was unintentionally cruel but that really doesn't help very much.

Today is the 28th - never my favorite day of the month but generally tolerable. This 28th was a bit tougher to begin with because it is the 4 year angel date of her sons death in addition to the 28 month mark for Sean. Denise and her son Jeff have been in my thoughts all day.

On top of that I walked into work this morning only to discover that one of our drivers had been involved in a fatal accident less than a mile away. He's okay but there is another family out there starting this difficult journey tonight. My heart bleeds for them.

I don't think most of the folks I work with know/remember how Sean passed and based on that I'm going to excuse their insistence on discussing this accident - over and over - on what was already a difficult day for me. I removed myself from the showroom multiple times to avoid conversations and was just trying to hold on long enough to finish my shift and go home. And then my phone rang...

My mother in law had received a call telling her that her son, my husband, was dead. He wasn't answering his phone and she can't drive to get to him. How incredibly horrible. I reassured her that I had seen him an hour before when he dropped my car off at work and I was sure he was okay then tried to call him myself. No answer...and no answer again.

I work only 1.5 miles away from home but today it took what felt like hours to get home. I've never been so afraid of what I might see when I turned the corner - namely his truck gone or a police car in the driveway. I was absolutely hysterical when I threw open the door to find him sitting in his chair wondering what on earth was going on. He's fine and I'm shaky but hanging on.

I'm sure that someone out there thought that the phone call they made was the funniest thing ever. My prayer for them is that they never, ever, ever understand exactly how cruel it was. The wrong random number was dialed today to the wrong family that has already experienced too much loss. What a cruel, horrific thing to do...and I hope the caller never understands why.